Mentora de mamás profesionistas y migrantes. Te ayudo a encontrar la claridad, fortaleza y paz para seguir adelante y crear la vida que deseas con tu familia.
I empower migrant and working moms to find clarity, strength and peace to continue to be their best self and create the life that they want with their family.
“Relationship Coaching is a series of proven strategies for conflict resolution, connection and love.”
Relationship Coaching is for people who really care for their closest relationships: their family. They know they need to make impactful and positive changes so these relationships can survive and thrive.
We are witnessing amazing progress in the areas of technology, science and medicine. However, we are unfortunately not progressing at the same pace in our human relationships. I see two main problems hampering our families and youth relationships:
Every day we see that spouses are not connected. Many times, trust, communication and passion are gone and instead couples live like “good roommates.” This situation obviously affects the energy and behavior of their whole family. Teenagers are struggling to communicate with parents and feel lost in finding a healthy path to adulthood.
Youth experience great difficulty trying to connect with others. Many of their relationships are shallow, without real or meaningful connection. It is easier for them to interact through technology than face to face. Technology affords them the control “they think” they need in relationships instead of the heart connection. (See Sherry Turkle’s TED Talk. She is the author of “Alone Together”).
There is a belief that relationships should “just work” and all will be fine. Perhaps because we are living in a world of instant gratification in which pleasure comes instantly with a “Like” or “Buy Now” button, but instant gratification is not what a relationship is. I believe a healthy relationship is based on commitment, growth, trust, vulnerability and of course, love.
Maybe you have encountered situations where things are going well in the beginning of the relationship (the honeymoon stage), but as partners know each other more and more, dislikes, disappointments ,and conflicts start to arise. Here is when you must decide to work on you and your relationship.
And let me tell you, blaming the other person won’t take you anywhere. Blaming your partner will only take you deeper into despair and isolation. How do I know this? Because I did it. I experienced both of those feelings in many of my relationships, including my marriage.
If you really want to be in a new relationship or save, or grow an existing relationship, you must work for it. To be in a relationship that experiences love, passion, forgiveness, fun and intimacy, you need to look inside yourself for those feelings. Sadly, many of us won’t look inside. We expect the other person, spouse, our own children or friends, to make us feel them.
What I have learned in my marriage, with my own children, and many friendships, is that I am the one who must feel good about me before I can connect with them in a caring and loving way. I am the one who has the power to influence them in negative and positive ways.
As a child, adolescent and young adult many external situations out of our control influence who we became later in life. I had to adapt to my family, society, religion, schools, friends, and other environments. Many times, I felt I had to become someone else and acted in ways that were not authentic but safe – without even knowing it. Maybe that happened to you as well. You might also have lost connection with who you really are and therefore you might not be living from your true self.
What did I do and what can you do?
Once I realized my relationships were not going where I wanted, I decided to work on myself. I embraced a journey of transformation, removed my old hurts, old negative beliefs and self-defeating habits. I learned to see the world with different eyes and be grateful for both my blessings and my struggles.
When I found who I really was and when I understood the love that lives in me, then and only then have I been able to give my true self to every relationship I have. This is now the path that I am following purposefully.
In order to know whether you are currently living from your true self, answer the following questions honestly:
As women, we have an important role in our families and society. We are the heart of the family. If the heart is healthy, fulfilled and happy then everything else is.
We need to feel good about ourselves to have a positive influence in our children, marriage and relationships. We should not transfer negative beliefs or hurts from the past upon them. We deserve the opportunity to heal and transform ourselves, so we can grow and share our true self. Only then, we will see how all our important relationships become loving, authentic and wonderful.
